So yesterday I get on an energy kick on my lunch break and start piecing the mythical beast together.
I dump out the plastic bag onto the carpet and line up the contents: 3 long screws, 6 medium screws, 4 short screws, a buttload of nuts (that's what she said), a screwdriver, an allen wrench, and some pliers. Pliers? What the hell are those for? And how did we end up with only THREE long screws? I can already tell this spells disaster.
Perplexed, I sit on the carpet for several minutes surveying my project. The black frame lies in a menacing heap on the floor, the mismatched and oddly numbered screws lay strewn about, cackling at me.
What. the fuck.
One sweaty, bloody hour later, I stared at the rickety beast I had clumsily assembled and wrinkled my forehead in confusion. There were still 3 long screws, 6 medium screws, and a buttload of nuts on the carpet. I had managed to assemble the entire futon with only 4 short screws.
And I wouldn't DARE sit on the thing, it is bound to come crashing to the ground.
So as a temporary brace, I piled some of my heavy design books under the frame to reinforce it until K inevitably comes home to
|The stack of books currently supporting the futon.|
|The buttload of nuts I'm left with AFTER the assembly. WTF?|
|This totally looks right.|
|Where I tried a medium screw instead of a short one, and ended up poking that mutha through the wood.|