Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I think they need to somehow click, to organically come together and grow. You can't force them; they just happen. I think that's why they say that you just KNOW when you meet that person. Something clicks, doesn't it? You can't put your finger on it, but it just feels right.

I remember the night I met K, we were out at a friend's birthday party and wound up standing outside in the rain chain smoking and talking about so many things. And with each part of our conversation, it just seemed to connect us even more. By the end of our several hour chat, we were running around downtown holding hands and skipping, yelling that we were getting married tomorrow and everyone was invited. Yes, skipping. And yes, there was a bit of alcohol involved. But the point is that it was unlike both of us to be that comfortable so instantly. And I think in order for it to get to that point, we both just FELT that it was right. It wasn't a lot of work, it just fell into place easily. We both wanted the same things, the timing was right for both of us, we were healed from our past relationships and ready to move forward.

But what if the timing isn't right?

I had a lot of these experiences while I was dating before I met K. The dark ages, I like to call them. I met some very nice guys-- some smart, some sweet, some funny... but for some reason, it just didn't work with any of them. Something was always off, and you could feel it. In some instances, I tried to force it because I wanted it to work so badly, but life just doesn't work that way. Ironically, once I stopped trying so hard and decided to let go, be single and have fun with my friends, I met K.

So that begs the question... do we really have any control over who we fall in love with? And even who we are friends with?

I think there is certainly a degree of effort and care put into these relationships to keep them alive, but do we really have control over the outcome?

I have friends from college who I see MAYBE once every couple of years. But when we talk, it's like no time has passed. We still love each other the way we did when we hung out daily. And sure, the dynamic shifts a bit, but our relationships are still strong.

So why do some relationships survive that kind of dynamic shift, and others don't?

I honestly think you just can't force any kind of relationship. The healthy ones, both romantic and platonic, fall into place naturally. And it's a fact of life that circumstances change, your priorities shift, that dynamics change and people ebb and flow in and out of your immediate center depending on time, place, fate. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, friendships fall in and out of love with you.

But maybe it has nothing to do with us. Maybe it's all a part of a higher universal principal that brings people together. I do know one thing for sure, I am so incredibly thankful to have the people in my life that I do, and I definitely believe that no matter the circumstances or how happy or challenging your time is while you're with them, people are brought into your life (and leave an impact) for a reason.

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