My Reality TV Addiction

I am addicted to bad reality TV. Housewives, pregnant teens, fist pumping guidos... I love it all. I just watched the trailer for Teen Mom 2, and let me tell you... my excitement level rivals waking up on Christmas morning to presents under the tree.

I tried to hide it for awhile, my closeted affection for trash shielded from the outside world. I'd spend hours in front of the TV, engrossed in the drama of hair pulling and slapping. I know it's terrible, a negative influence on our society and promotes an unrealistic portrayal and glamorization of people's lives. But I just can't help myself.

My current favorites include the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Married to Rock, and 16 & Pregnant. Lisa is my second favorite reality star of all time, the housewife with the British accent who sasses strangers in the lobby of the DMV. She can say anything she wants and it comes out hilarious and classy. I'd love to sit down with her and just yell swear words back and forth so I can learn that accent. Maybe then when I'm standing in line at Walmart and I want to cuss someone out for cutting the line, I'll be able to avoid getting a fist to the face with my new fancy accent.

But my all time favorite reality star is a dad on the show 16 & Pregnant. His name is James, he was Markai's boyfriend. You may recall that James got a verbal beatdown from his friends for being the only white dude with dreads. They said he was like Billy Ray Cyrus with a mullet. James spoke English so poorly that they had to use subtitles at the bottom of the screen so the audience would be able to decipher the new language he created. My sister and I laughed so hard that we saved it on the DVR for weeks, and repeatedly fast forwarded to the parts where James had an extended monologue. At one point during the episode, we find out that James has cheated on the mother of his child with a past girlfriend. It came as a devastating shock to us viewers; James seemed like SUCH a standup guy. They couple stand outside the car screaming at each other, and James proceeds to defend himself against her accusations. He yells incoherent ramblings at her while his dreads bounce back and forth against his jacket.

This episode alone explains why reality TV feeds my soul, and if you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth checking out on Hulu. And as for the other reality TV, I hope you all don't judge me for my little self-indulgent vice. And if you do, you don't know what you're missing.