Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Best of Craigslist: I stomped on your fire, you choked on a biscuit

I often spend my mornings perusing the missed connections and best of craigslist to see who is stalking whom. Today, I stopped in my tracks and spilled coffee on myself when I came across the following gem:

I stomped on your fire, you choked on a biscuit

You: passed out on the grass after choking on a biscuit and slamming your car into a guardrail at Franklin and Harding

Me: driver of silver bug with 2 women in the car who stopped and put your car fire out.

It's been a bad month, so if you would get me a new fire extinguisher, I would appreciate it. Also don't eat while driving in the future, it's dangerous, as you discovered.

Location: Nashville, TN 

What a tragedy. This guy was just out for a Sunday drive, trying to multitask and eat his breakfast at the same time, when suddenly he chokes and slams his car into a guardrail, igniting his car in a fiery blaze.

Thankfully, this guardian angel drove by in a silver bug to stomp out the fire and save the day.

But what became of the man passed out on the grass from choking? Did you speed off, leaving him to lie there with a mouth full of biscuits? Was he unconscious when you arrived? Did you call an ambulance? I hope you at least checked to see if he had a pulse.

Thanks for your words of wisdom about eating while driving; if he didn't learn his lesson that day, he sure as hell has now. And I'm sure he'll be more than happy to purchase you a new fire extinguisher. After all, you never know when you'll happen upon another spontaneously combusting choking victim.

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