Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Cat Voice

My social skills have been severely eroded by working from home full time. In the past 2 years, I went from getting up every day and putting my work clothes on to being lucky if I change from stretchy pants to pajama pants at the end of the day.

Now don't get me wrong, there are lots of awesome things about it too. There's no commute. I don't have to drive in any kind of bad weather. I don't have to do my hair if I don't want to, which is awesome since it takes forEVER to dry this mop. (See post: Why I had a pixie cut in high school) It's also awesome because it allows me to feed my latest addiction: Gilmore Girls. I can watch it all day long if I want. And Maury. We'll save that closet addiction for a later post.

But I'll tell you what... it's pretty strange not having human contact all day. There's no water cooler antics, no guy from accounting bringing in doughnuts on Friday, nobody to chat with about the weekend's events. There's no cute work clothes, no birthday parties in the kitchen, no separation between work and home. My coworkers are cats. And frankly, I think I'm starting to forget how to talk to people.

See, I've got different voices.

1.) My Professional Voice. Used for speaking with coworkers (which I currently have none of), clients, and my boss. This includes using full sentences and proper grammar, no swear words or acronyms. Sarcasm is kept at a minimum to avoid confusion and/or judgment from my peers.
2.) My Friend Voice. Used for speaking with friends. Swear words, acronyms, heavy sarcasm...sometimes a friendly punch in the gut or a high five. Anything goes.
3.) My Cat Voice. Now this voice is secret, and used to and for the cats exclusively. Only the problem is, this voice has currently started leaking into instances in which only other voices are appropriate. I did my best to hide my cat voice from K for the first year or so of our relationship, saving my "WHO'S MOMMY'S BEEG BOY?" for Linus, only when we were alone. But now we all live together. And slowly, I have found my cat voice creeping in when K is around. I try not to scare him too much, but really it's inevitable, since this is the voice I use all day long when nobody else is here.

The cat voice creeps in sometimes when I'm on the phone with my boss, too. How do you sign off on the phone? I think I've forgotten how, since the last few times we've spoken, right before I hang up the phone, I go: "buh bye."

Buh bye? Reeeeal professional.

So I'm thinking I need some extra human contact STAT. Maybe going back to the gym will help. I can be that annoying girl on the treadmill, trying to chat up the lady next to me in my cat voice: "HAI STRANGER. WHOOOO'S MOMMY'S BEEG GIRL?"

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