Monday, March 19, 2012

Fuck you, Us Weekly.

Shut up, I love that shirt on you.

But seriously, don't you think it's time to lay off Ben the Bachelor? I don't think he's quite the pimp you've made him out to be. He may have frizzy hair and a hell of a hat collection, but don't we all?

It takes a nerd to spot one, and I see right through that cashmere sweater. He's no player, just a lifelong nerd with a little case of Trapper Keeper Syndrome. The popular cheerleader asked him out after science class, got naked and made him do her homework, and he carried his lazer-covered Trapper Keeper in front of him to hide his boner through the entire rest of the show.

Can you blame him?

Sure, he was thinking with his No. 2 pencil instead of his brain. But who wouldn't be smitten by a hot model prancing in the ocean sans skivvies?

Ben, hang in there brother. Not all of us think you're an asshole. Any guy with mad rap skillz and an alter ego named Storm Horse is okay in my book. And whomever you choose to spend your time with after chess club is your own business. Nerds unite.


  1. I like how you spotted him with nerd prowess. It really does take one to know one. :P

    -Barb the French Bean

  2. Thanks, Barb... just trying to show a little support for my fellow nerds!

  3. Hehe you can really feel a personal sort of indignance here on behalf of all nerds or something. Damn cute.

  4. Haha... thanks, Icy. We're kindof like a cult, in that we drink a lot of koolaid and wear nikes. So we have to stick up for one another.

  5. Haha, to be fair koolaid is awesome. Just depends what you put in it!

  6. This is true. Avoid cyanide, I suppose!