Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sucker for a sucker.

Go away, Cindy. I don't want
your delicious candy.
I'm a sucker. A huge fucking sucker. I heard a knock at the door yesterday, and opened it to a little girl with Cindy Lou Who eyelashes selling candy bars for $2 apiece.

There were several reasons for me NOT to buy candy from her. First of all, I'm on a diet. (They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. They burn carbs. They just burn up all your carbs.) Second of all, I'm trying to save money.

So what did I do? Went and got a 5 spot out of my purse and brought it to the door. "Do you have change for a 5?" I asked. Of couuuurse she didn't. So instead of saying "you know, I'm all set, sweetie, thank you!" Which would have been absolutely acceptable, I said:

"Okay, I'll take 2 then. And you can just keep the change."


As I shut the door behind her, my eyes crazy with desire for the devil's chocolatey playthings in my warm little hands, I realized that I had forgotten to even ask what the donation was for.

Hopefully I didn't fund an underground cocaine ring for schoolchildren.


  1. As long as she didn't look like she went to private school you should be alright aha... Maybe that's just Britain. As a culture we're far more suspicious of girls in short skirts offering "cookies" aha. Mean Girls reference was much appreciated x

    Hilariously- the captcha thing on me posting this comment is making my type 'hobnob'... How apt?!

  2. Haha... I think it's probably pretty smart to avoid girls in short skirts bringing cookies around--I should take notes! Thanks for the comment, Clare!

  3. Hahahahahaha I love your blog Pink Girl. This shit is great. I used to be a Campfire girl (kinda like the Girl Scout girl rival), but I wasn't nearly as adorable as the girl you're speaking of. Also, I like the "Mean Girls" quote. Keep it up lady, I'm now following.

  4. Thanks Gabs! I was a girl scout back in the day, though not NEARLY as persistent as this chick. She was born for sales. Thanks for following!

  5. Sucker!!!
    I would have somehow tried to scam her into letting me have three for five dollars. Because I am a chocolate slut.... and if they were those Mean Girls' "weird Swedish nutrition bars," It would have merited me eating tons.

  6. Good idea! I should have tried to scam her the second time around... but it would have resulted in me sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by candy wrappers after I ate all my feelings.

  7. Damn those school girls, they always try and make people fat.