Prosti-Tots

This is not a joke, people.

I've got a fresh new can of whoopass to open on these stage mom bitches.

In almost every episode I've seen, the sequin-clad toddler is screaming, crying, and being dragged by her daintily painted fingernails to center stage.

What possesses these moms to torture their kids in such a fashion? Parading them around in baby hooker outfits (no, really), training them to be tiny bitches with superficial diva tendencies? False eyelashes, toupees, "flippers", and spray tans belong in a wax museum, not on your child.

And are they seriously so self-centered that they don't realize these shows are making FUN of them, not celebrating their vicarious living? I am frightened for the future generation of women that these parents are raising.

She's having a blast!

You may have not fulfilled your dream of being a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader or having Richard Gere rescue you from the throes of prostitution, but your 3-year-old sure as hell doesn't want to punished for it. So take off the false eyelashes and take her to Chuck E. Cheese, where a kid can be a kid.