Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thanks a pantload, Vera Wang.
The lady at the shop had me try on the dress in the size I THOUGHT I would be. The gown was about SIX INCHES from closing in the back. Thankfully, my sister was there to help me out (and give me a paper bag to breathe into when I found out what size I would actually need.)
I had to go up four sizes. Into the PLUS sized section.
Devastating. And also the biggest punch in the face that I needed to get my ass in gear.
Apparently bridesmaids dresses are designed to make you want to slit your wrists. And after an extensive Google search looking for female consolance after my traumatizing experience, I discovered that this is actually very common. It appears that designers use an ancient size reference system, and women frequently have to order up several sizes from their typical size in order to fit into the gowns.
Why the HELL would they do this? Bridal shops are in the business of making girls feel beautiful in their dresses and building self esteem, not referring them to 1-800-94-JENNY.
Ladies, this bridal party is comprised of gorgeous girls I knew in high school that I haven't seen since I had a pixie cut. I cannot be the fattest girl in the wedding party. I CANNOT.
Operation Romy and Michelle is in full effect.