Never let go, Jack.

The actual cover art. No joke.

Yesterday, I was browsing our Netflix queue... Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy... X-Files... Alien vs. Predator... Titanic 2? Really?

I looked it up on IMDB to see if it was legit. Believe it or not, it was.

"On the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened "Titanic 2," follows the path of its namesake. But when a tsunami hurls an ice berg into the new ship's path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate." 

*Tilts head and frowns*

 Okay, passengers of the luxurious new ship... I have a few questions. I don't know if you caught the adventures of Jack and Kate on any one of the thousands of times it has been re-run on TBS, but I'll sum up their bitter end for you in three words: iceberg, right ahead.

We all know what happened to those unlucky passengers of the first Titanic on that cold April evening. And I'm sure some of you were dying to recreate the naked painting scene and maybe even the romp in the carriage (cue handprint on window). But was it worth suffering through the ENTIRE experience again?

Were you really surprised when your ship got hit by another iceberg, closely resembling the fate of your predecessor? I mean--the tsunami was a bit of a monkey wrench; I'll give you that. But I'm assuming the end result is pretty much the same.

I didn't happen to catch your sequel since it went straight to DVD, but I imagine you all faced many of the same challenges that Jack and his friends did on the first go-around. I wish you all the best, and I at least hope you had enough lifeboats this time.