Facebook Jerk

Okay, listen. I realize my view on the politics of facebook are conflicting. I regularly scroll through my list of friends and do a little house cleaning, deleting people that I don't talk to much. It's really nothing personal. Sometimes you just lose touch and don't talk, realize that you probably never will, so you click that X and defriend with reckless abandon. You think: we knew each other from one week at fat camp the summer after fifth grade; she will never notice, and will she really even miss me since we never talk?

The worst case scenario when you defriend someone is that you pop up in their "People You May Know" box, they realize you have done the deed, and then they REFRIEND you. What are you supposed to do at that point? You've been found out, and though you hoped it would never come to this and they would not discover your infidelity, they have. So you have two options: accept the friend request (again), or deny it and forever wear that scarlet F on your shirt... for Facebook jerk.

But today... the most devastating event occurred. Someone defriended ME. I know this because I keep close tabs on the number of friends I have on FB: 245. I like to keep it at a nice round number, sets of five are preferable. And when I clicked on my page today, it was immediately clear that my facebook chi was off. 244. I had been defriended. And as much as I defriend unabashedly and unapologetically, I was furious. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me? Why would someone deliberately disconnect from my life in such a way? How DARE THEY?

I scrolled fervently through my friend list, trying to figure out who it was. Not that there is ANY way to tell (unless you regularly stalk that person and one day can't see the photos of their new chubby little baby... not that that's happened to me or anything.) When I resolved that I was never going to be able to tell who it was that burned me to the core, I decided that I want my friends list back to a nice, round number. So I'll either have to make a new friend, or defriend four other people. What to do, what to do.