Command + Q

I hope you are all WELL. It has been so long!

I will go back and do a post about the wedding, I promise. To summarize, it was MAGICAL. We are now 9 months into being married, and honestly we couldn't be happier. Here's a photo to tide you over. And K totally wore a pink gingham pocket square.

We like donuts. (Laura Harris Photography-call her, she's seriously awesome.)

But let's talk about how I quit my job on Thursday.

And how I was laid off from my OTHER job 5 months ago.

And how I accepted two job offers in between.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

OK. In February, we had a suspicion that our office would be closing. We were the smallest satellite office, and... business. We received a mysterious invite to a meeting with "HR", and we pretty much knew it was happening. The night before the meeting, I asked my sister what you wear when you know you're getting fired. We went for black.

I joke, but it was truly devastating. It was my favorite job of all the jobs, I'd been there for 4 years, (remember THIS post, when I finally decided to make the leap to Job #2?) Anyways, I was crushed. And terrified. And I've never lost a job before.

K has been SUPER super supportive. And we basically decided if we had to eat ramen for a year while I looked, we would.

After many rejection letters (one actually came in the MAIL.) I was lucky enough to land another job about a block from Job #2. I was incredibly thankful, but the truth was, I had had my eye on a different job--my DREAM job for five years. Since before Job #2.

This place is the stuff dreams are made of. Designy, comprised of amazing people, and has a kegerator. Also there are jerseys hanging on the wall in memory of fonts that shall no longer be used, such as Comic Sans. Which I'm sure this blog will be published in. They do design for BREWERIES and RESORTS and they have the most wonderful reputation in the design industry. I cold called them five years ago to inquire whether they had a position, and then again when the layoff happened. No dice.

But the coincidences were too much to ignore. 1) My sister-in-law worked with them at a previous job. 2) The beer poster we have above our fireplace was designed by them. 3) I can walk to my sister's house from the office. 4) I ran into them at a cocktails with creatives event a few months ago, and fangirled because we all connected so well. We followed each other on social media, and just tried to keep in touch. It was basically like being married and having an affair with your true love.

I started Job #3, and pined from afar, but resolved to let it go and move forward.

But about three weeks in, my dream job serendipitously reached out to me with an open position. It was less pay than Job #3, but K and I did some quick math and decided my happiness was intangible. I had to do something I'm super uncomfortable doing and quit a job I just started, but in my heart, I KNEW it was the right thing for me.

So I start in AUGUST.

I am honestly still in shock that I was able to land safely after being laid off. It was incredibly challenging and humbling, and I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy. But looking back now, I could not be happier. I just landed my dream job, I get to design things for BREWERIES and RESORTS and basically, if a job were a pile of kittens that I could roll around in, this would be it. Things happen for a reason, people.

Last Day of Being 27

The Carebears are ready to party!

This is it, kiddies! My last day of being 27. Tomorrow, I turn 28 and the world changes. It makes me think about how I've spent the last year of my life, and the things I'm grateful for.

In the last year, there were tough times. For the first time in my life, I let go of people who were toxic in my life. I lost my uncle to cancer and had to put a kitty down. I faced death head-on, had to play God and choose it, and it made me realize that while it's a sad and devastating part of life, I'm not so afraid of it anymore. I'm stronger than I thought I was.

But there were more beautiful moments than there were sad ones, and out of tragedy there was inspiration, too. My sister got engaged, my brother got engaged, friends have have welcomed children into the world, and I got to see my family be put back together. I'm so incredibly blessed to have the life I do, to be surrounded with good friends, family and people who love me unconditionally.

In this last year, I think I've started to become more aware of my strengths and weaknesses, how I want to live my life and who I want to be surrounded by. I had to be incredibly honest with myself and recognize that I've been a pushover. I've let people walk all over me and I pointed fingers and played the victim. I didn't speak up when I should have, didn't tell people how I was truly feeling. And really, that makes me a liar. I've held this sarcastic outer shell as a defense to hide what I was really feeling, and I became damn good at it, too. My sarcasm makes me who I am, but I need to be open, sincere and honest, too. It only took me 27 years to realize that.

I have so many AMAZING things to look forward to this year of my life: my brother's wedding, being a part of my sister's wedding, welcoming a brother and a sister into my family, and seeing friends bring their own children into the world. And I get to do it all with the most incredible man by my side. And now that I'm finally starting to realize the way I want to live my life, I can't wait to see what the next year has in store :)

Fuck you, Sisqo

Dumps like a truck truck truck.

You know what? Fuck you, Sisqo. You are a rat bastard. You make one catchy song and females worldwide have to suffer the next 20 years with a strip of fabric jammed in their ass cheeks.

Why couldn't you make a song about how awesomely comfortable granny panties are? They are cottony-soft, cuddle your butt like a teddy bear, and don't cause you to lose hours of your life in the bathroom pulling your underwear out of your butt.

She had butt that was covered up up
Wedgies are gone gone gone
Baby no more whale tale tale

I challenge you, Sisqo. I'd like to see YOU wear one of those bad boys for an entire day and let us know how you're diggin it. I bet that look in your eye won't be so devilish.

Five Pillows and a Heating Pad

I threw my back out yesterday. Like takes-ten-minutes-to-put-my-socks-on out. God knows how I did it. I think all of the cat-robatics that I do getting out of bed in the morning to not squish Gwennie have caught up with me.

Every night, she curls up right against my left side, pinning my elbow to my side. I love that she snuggles with me, but in the morning when I go to turn my alarm off and get out of bed, I have to do some extreme Cirque du Soleil to escape the cat trap.

So here I am, five pillows and a heating pad later, all ambitions of cleaning this house and doing anything but remaining as still as possible tossed to the wind.

There are a number of activities that prove incredibly difficult when you hurt your back. Quite frankly, I took them for granted before. Never again.


Shaving my legs. I was feeling ambitious this morning, even though it took me two minutes just to waddle to the shower itself, but the shaving did not happen. I realized after I stood there, staring at my toes, trying to imagine in my head how I would bend down and make this magic happen that it was all a pipe dream. Sorry, K.


Putting on socks. It didn't occur to me until I went to go do it this morning just how difficult it would be. I had to carefully perch myself on a corner of the bed, use my left fingers to pry open the neck of the sock and inch it towards my foot as gently as possible. With my right hand, I tried to aim my toes toward the opening. (Scrunch socks were a bad plan, by the way. I should have gone with cheerleader socks.)

Stairs. Never have I been so grateful that we have two railings going up the stairs, because I needed them both. I had to consciously will each foot to move down each stair, hoping one wouldn't trip up and sneak under the other, causing a treacherous tumble.

Feeding the cats. Those poor little suckers had to wait seven excruciating minutes for me to get up the courage to bend down and pour them some food. What was really awesome was when they were headbutting my ankles so hard I thought I was going to crash and burn. This is a precariously balanced situation, if you haven't noticed, kitties.

These are the simple things that took me hours to accomplish yesterday. I bet my neighbors are getting a kick out of watching me hobble about the house with my hand on my back like I'm 90. Maybe tomorrow I'll take an extra hour, get dressed in front of the window and show them how a real woman puts on socks.