Facebook is heroin for my soul

Your drug is my love, Mark.

Some drink, some light crack pipes in darkened alleyways, and some eat themselves to death. I lose myself in status updates.

I first realized it back when I took a Facebook hiatus. I spend most of my days in a fog, blurry and unfocused, stressed, forgetting to eat, my mind whirls so fast.

I sit for hours engulfed in the ongoings of celebrities and people I knew 10 years ago, Maury on simultaneously, not knowing what time or day it is, or what I was in the middle of doing before my binge. It's a high, an escape from real life. I feel safe, mindless while I do it, and suddenly I'll realize hours have gone by and I feel exhausted, confused, my mind spinning.

Facebook is heroin for the soul.

So when it came time to make yet another new year's resolution, I decided mine would be to slow my life down.

Less Facebook.
No Maury.
More Knitting.

Sorry, Pancake. It's over.

So far, though I'm still devastated at the breakup, I'm 4 scarves in and I've managed to quit Maury and Pancake for good. Facebook, Twitter, Perez and Pinterest are a work in progress. (Baby steps, people.) Hell, who am I kidding. I've got Facebook open right now. Do they have rehab for social media addiction?

A Sweaty Old Friend

Yesterday was my maiden voyage to the gym this year. I know, I know... I said it was my new year's resolution. I'm sorry, I lied. I pay a membership for every month. It's only $10, but I still cringe when I see it debited from my account, like a tiny little elf poking me in the side, saying--hey, you paid for this, and you DIDN'T EVEN USE IT!

Oh elf. Leave me alone.

I really enjoy the magical weight loss remedies that present themselves as the solution to all of your weight loss problems. "They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs."

The solution is no secret, and we all know what it is. Eat right and exercise. I know, I'm one to talk... but come on people! No magical pills are going to do it. Putting foreign chemicals into your body isn't going to help. All we have to do is nom on some veggies and get our booties to the gym, and we'll be good to go. It's easier said than done, trust me--I know.

But I did manage to get back to the gym yesterday. I blew the dust off and creaked open the cobwebbed drawer containing my workout clothes and drove myself there. When I walked in the door, I half expected millions of balloons to fall from the ceiling and a sounding round of applause from the patrons. Thank you! Thank you! *Miss America Wave*

It was like revisiting an old friend. A very sweaty, loud old friend wearing a wifebeater and swishy pants. And it really did feel good to get back; I'm hoping to stay in the game this time and actually use my membership. And the good news is-- I think I waited long enough that I missed the rush of New Year's Resolutioners. See, I totally did it on purpose.

Last Day of 2010!

It's the last day of 2010! It makes you look back on your year and wonder where the time has gone. I think especially when you're happy, time flies faster. I know there were years when I wasn't so happy that the days seemed to tick by agonizingly.

I think about how I've spent my last year and the people I've surrounded myself with--I feel extremely lucky to have them all in my life. I think for a long time I've taken them for granted. Things were just handed to me, and my life continued as it were. I began to expect things, and I think I lost sight of how they can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye.

I'm so lucky to have such an amazing family, as dysfunctional as we all are. This past year I've seen a reconciliation between my family over a 13-year-long feud. I can end this year saying that I have a lot of people back in my life that I truly missed, and I plan on working on the relationships to keep it that way. I am lucky enough to have two sets of parents that love me; a sister who is my best friend, an awesome stepbrother, a boyfriend who has absolutely changed my life and the way I look at it. I have an aunt and uncle who have taken me in as one of their own; cousins who have adopted me as their sister, and a few amazing friends who I consider actual family.

I think it's been easy for me to focus on those things that have gone wrong this year. And trust me, there have been some. But the truth of the matter is that I am incredibly lucky to have all of these people in my life, to have a job that I enjoy, to live in a happy home, and to wake up every morning knowing that I have everything I need to survive and be happy in life.

I love you all like family, thank you for being there for me and making my life richer with your sass and awesomeness. I can't wait to see what next year brings for us.

Happy New Year!

Save the Drama Fo Yo Mama

Drama seems to follow me like a dryer sheet stuck to a Snuggie. And I have a confession to make, dear readers. I have spent the majority of 2010 caught up in other people's business. I have been so busy worrying about what other people are doing, saying, feeling and thinking that I have lost focus on my own goals. I'll tell you this, though--I find myself much happier when I'm able to separate from it.

Much like an unwanted STD, drama manifests itself in one person and makes its way around a group of friends leaving everyone itchy and a little uncomfortable. It's entertaining though, isn't it? Finding out who is divorcing who, who is knocked up, and who is cheating with the dude they met on match.com? And with the integration of facebook as the ultimate pot-stirring, paparazzi stalking tool, creating and maintaining drama is as easy as ever.

I have been thinking a lot about what I want for next year. I think what I'd like the most, aside from health, happiness, and safety for my family, is freedom from the stress that drama brings me. I've been making a concerted effort to rid my life of the negativity that drama carries. I've been trying to find some peace, surround myself with positive, loving people, and roll myself in bubble wrap to protect from the stress (or bounce down the stairs if I so choose.)

So my goal for next year is to stop worrying about other people's business, enjoy the people around me, and focus on bettering myself. I think it's time for me to grow up a little, make a solid effort to keep a positive attitude, and switch to liquid fabric softener.

XOXO,
(P)GG

Cold Turkey (and Mashed Potatoes)

At a BBQ this summer, solo cup of keg beer in one hand, cheeseburger in the other, I was talking to someone at the party who stopped mid-conversation and said: (get this) "so...how's that going?", pointing to my stomach. Looking down, I cheerfully replied: "my beer? it's good!" and gave him a look of poignant confusion. Red faced, we both realized what he meant at the same time. And while this hilariously humiliating experience is good for an LOL, I'm hoping it is the motivating factor I need to kick myself into gear.

Normally, I don't go with the stereotypical New Years resolutions; they seem doomed to failure. But with New Years and my 27th birthday right around the corner, it makes me think about my goals. Last year, right before my 26th birthday, I quit smoking cold turkey. I haven't bragged about it, the biggest reason being I didn't want to set myself up for failure if I caved and had a smoke or two while out with friends. But somehow, (and I'm not saying it isn't without its urges!) I have managed to make it almost a year and haven't touched one. And since that was so successful, I feel like I should do something else big.

Why is losing weight so hard? I think it's because of my undying affection for food. Food and I have a love-hate relationship. I can always count on a McDonald's #1 meal to cheer me up when I'm feeling blue. You will almost always find me with some kind of food article in my purse, just in case I need a little "nom". In fact, when I met K out at the bar, we went to get food at the end of the night, and after I stuffed his face with my twice baked potato, I stuffed the other half in my purse... for breakfast the next morning.

Crash diets have never worked for me. Typically, I just eat whatever I want and go to the gym to counterbalance. But with the holidays, and the way I've been stuffing my face these past 6 months, I think I have to change some things around in addition to the working out. My stepdad successfully lost a ton of weight with his new eating habits, and he's an inspiration to my new ambition.

So come January 1st, I'm going to join all of the newly motivated people who got gym memberships in their stockings as a (thoughtful?) present, and wobble myself into that gym. Wish me luck!