Useless Boating Crap: Session 2

Last night, we dove into more useless boating crap that you must know so you can be a ship captain. I almost failed the unit 5 exam because I was so busy taking screenshots and cracking up at the hilarious illustrations.

Here are some of the highlights:

Smiling and wearing hats on a boat is strictly forbidden.

If a guy in a cutoff T offers you a beer, give him a high five.

Don't throw your cans and keys in the water...

... or this will happen to you.

Black men with six arms can do jumping jacks.

Thanks for identifying that green button!

Oh NOES! That boat is on fire.

What else would you use to check for gas vapors?

Our ample-busomed professor of boating.

As a completely unrelated and inappropriate sidenote, we determined that the host of tonight's exam has ginormous machine-gun jumblies and was probably a porn star before she did boating videos. I can't wait for the day she hands me my boat captain diploma.