Fail Blog Monday

Well kiddies, let's start this awful time warp of a Monday off right with some classic fails from right here in Stars Hollow:

Outside of a local bar. How did they get the gum machine out without someone noticing?

Take care of your teeth AND cry yourself into a tween frenzy! Available at Best Buy.

When they have to put subtitles on a white girl from Indiana, there's a serious problem.

That's what she said.

Either Dawson finds out about Joey and Pacey's stolen kisses, or he has extreme abdominal pain.

The Stars Hollow gym is famous! John Deere goes there, too.

That's right: a man, walking in front of our house with a shotgun in hand. Cue the banjo music.

Maybe our neighbors kept the third wiseman for a year-round celebration of Jesus?

I have a creepy cougar crush on Justin Bieber.

It's true. It's a little pedophilic, in an "I'm-old-enough-to-be-your-mother" way, but I'm more than a little obsessed with him. I'm even contemplating going see the JB movie in the theaters by myself. (Any takers? I won't judge you, I promise. It can be a secret date.)

But I've got to be honest: the Biebs gets a haircut and it makes front-page news? You've got to be kidding me. I think even JB himself would agree that's a little ridiculous. Aren't there more important things going on in the world? Like Charlie Sheen waving around a machete?

Can you IMAGINE the pressure if your haircuts got front page news? It's terrifying enough to sit in that chair and let someone with pointy scissors come at your noggin full force. But what if the paparazzi were staring in at you through the window, documenting every inch snipped? You'd REALLY have to make sure you wore a long enough shirt so your plumber wouldn't show up on PerezHilton.com.

We've all had terrible haircuts in the past... (pixie cut, anyone?) and I'll tell you what, I wouldn't want that documented on CNN. It's bad enough that I have school pictures from every year of high school showcasing the veritable transformation of my locks through the ages. Poor Biebs. I don't think that Canadian munchkin alien superstar will ever be the same again. It must be one hell of a distorted reality to live in where your haircuts get front page news.