Don't Hate the Player

I have a secret, people. I need to share it with you.

I've got two boyfriends. Two. My life has been a juggling act lately.

One boyfriend lets me stay home in my pajamas, gives me lots of personal space, and doesn't make me wear shoes. He says "hey honey! I've got a great idea. Let's sit down and watch Maury for an hour, and try to guess who is the daddy." He's good like that. But he leaves me alone a lot, and I find that I'm an unhappy girl. Which is why I've sought out boyfriend #2.

Boyfriend #2 is a sophisticated man. He brings me flowers, likes me to dress up in pretty outfits, and holds the promise of free massages over my easily swayed head. He wears a suit, he takes me on nice dates, and he always pays for everything. He makes me feel loved.

When I'm with Boyfriend #1, I feel lonely. It wasn't always like that, we were happy for the first few years. Now, the personal space is great (I'm a very independent woman), but I find I'm dating myself most times. I'm not wowed by Boyfriend #1 anymore, even though we've been together for almost 5 years.

When I'm with Boyfriend #2, I feel excited, passionate, full of life. I feel useful, and happy, and vibrant. But Boyfriend #2 wants me to break up with #1. You see, he's not the polygamist type. And frankly, I'm not handling it well myself either. I hate sneaking around, I feel like I'm lying all the time, and I'm full of anxiety at what road to take.

Boyfriend #2 says he wants to marry me, but only if I leave #1.

So I've been waiting for about three weeks now for that proposal... nervous, anxious, anticipating. I'm terrified of change, but I've just been SO unhappy.

Who will I end up with?!