Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sleep-a-sutra

I managed just fine in my twin-sized dorm room bed. It was cozy, in fact, and comfortably housed more than one of us on the rare occassion that a girlfriend was too drunk to walk home alone. (We slept head to foot, don't get crazy now.)

When I got my own apartment, I graduated to a full-sized futon, then my very own queen-sized bed. A real luxury, coming from humble army-cot beginnings.

When I met K, he had the holy grail of beds. A KING. With high count thread sheets and EVERYTHING. (He's a diva for bedding, which is obviously the only reason I stay with him.)

When K works away from home, I have the whole bed to myself. I enjoy the freedom to starfish myself in the middle (if I don't have 3 cats taking up prime real estate on the bed.)

Obviously, while away in his hotel bed, he has adopted the starfish as well. Because lately, THIS has been happening:

Yes. K sleeps like a percent sign, DIAGONALLY across the bed. With his head on MY pillow. Leaving me to curl up in a tiny corner of the bed, laying straight as a pin, because I can't even turn over without falling off of the bed.

What's even better? He is one of those people who sleeps like a rock. You cannot. Wake him. EVER. I've tried everything: gentle nudges, poking him, smothering him with a Carebear... NOTHING WORKS.

One night, I got up to go to the bathroom, gave up and came back to bed on the other side of him, because there was more room.

I love to cuddle, but at this rate--I think I had more room in that army cot of a dorm room bed.

8 comments:

  1. My honey bunny always does this too. He says he does it to be closer. All I want to say is GTF away fro me and let me sleep!!

    Harsh? Yes. But I love sleeping!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHA. I hear you, B! It's like: don't bullshit me, you don't want to snuggle, you are just starfishing. Also, I can't move my arm because you are ON IT.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I always go to sleep curled up right on the edge of the bed. But when I wake up in the morning, I'm diagonally across the bed. Still in a straight line, rather than starfishing. But it's weird. I think I must kick the end of the bed in my sleep and so I end up diagonal because there's more room or something?

    It's a good thing I'm single.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Melbs, maybe that's what K is doing too. Imagine if you were with somebody who did the same thing you did... it would be an epic battle! One that we would have to illustrate with awesome drawings.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'd pay good money for that drawing. (Not that I have any money, but the sentiment is genuine.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks, Icy. My masterful artwork truly rivals the great artists of our time.

    ReplyDelete
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