Friday, April 6, 2012

If I were a lesbian

If I were a lesbian, there are a series of women that I would leave my husband for.

(I don't know why I'm hypothetically married in this make-believe sapphic encounter, but go with me.)

But they'd have to be stupid hot. I'd be one of the pickiest lesbians ever. Maybe because I AM a girl, and I know what I like. Anyways, here's my list.

Kelly Clarkson has an awesome voice, and I also love that she's not a skinny-minnie, much like myself. Not to mention her first album was the anthem to my recovery from first true heartbreak. I'd totally switch teams for her.

Zooey Deschanel is hot, funny, and wears cute clothes. So we could totally have one closet and both wear the same outfits. (Double bonus!)

Kat Von D - She might be a bit moody (understandable after dating Jesse James), but she's hot too, and being with her would definitely up my street cred. I might have to dye my hair blue or something to keep up with her tatted up style though.

Gabrielle Union - She looked really good in a suit in Ne-Yo's video for Miss Independent. Plus she's sassy. And hot. And she made out with LLCoolJ in Deliver Us From Eva, so it would be like I'm making out with LLCoolJ by the law of deductive argument. Right?

Let's see, who else...

OH. Game changer. Khloe Kardashian! I think she's totally hot, she's got some junk in the trunk (like me) and she'd bring me out of my hetero shell. (I'd be new at this whole lesbian thing, and in need of guidance, okay?!)

So, people, let's hear your lists. Come onnn, I know I can't be the only one!


  1. On the off chance that I ever decide to leave Team Pacey (insanely unlikely. Oh, Pacey... *swoon*), here's mine:

    Eliza Dushku. She's a total badass, as well as crazy hot.

    Jennifer Lawrence. I have a massive girl crush on her, because she's a huge dork.

    Yeah, that's about it, really...

  2. Melbs, you know I'm on Team Pacey all the way. But you have some good additions to the list. Also, I think I'll leave Joey Potter off the list. Because she would be grumpy and emo, and she runs like a swan with broken legs.

  3. YES. She cannot be on the list. Ever. The way she smooths her hair when something's making her sad/stressed infuriates me.

  4. YES. From this day forward, Joey Potter is on permanent Ho Suspension.

  5. I just saw Jennifer Lawrence on IMDB and I am like wooaahhh