Accidental Porn Star

"Is that 3G? It looks super fast." -my friend Jill, on the stand-in that I put in K's stocking until the real one came in.

Last night, I was brushing my teeth before bed when I heard K answer a call from his side of the bed, where he had already set up camp.

It was one of his friends, so I figured it would be a quick conversation. (Guys are like one-word phenoms on the phone, right?) I came out of the bathroom to change into my PJs when I heard K discussing the Facetime feature on his new iPhone.

I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see what he was doing. I went about my business and tuned him out. I was just about to take off my jeans when I heard:

"Yeah, it puts you on speaker. You just do this. Here, can you see me?" 

I squinted in his direction across the dimly lit room where I was about to get my sleep on, and quickly realized he had activated this video chat, and I could very well be the main star in this XXX no-pants video.

He had his friend on speakerphone, so I couldn't yell at him. Instead, I resorted to diving behind the closet wall, and making urgent, angry facial expressions and hand gestures in his general direction.

He quickly disconnected the video chat and hung up the phone.

"What the hell were you doing?"

"What? I was Facetiming." 

"If you didn't notice, I didn't have any pants on in the background."

And here it is... 
"Oh, don't worry. You can only see my face blown up on the screen."
Comforting, thanks Ray J.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't wake this morning with a burning ambition to enter into the adult entertainment industry. Plus, how fucking awkward would it be when I see your friend and he's like... oh hey. I know what your undies look like."

What's the moral of the story, kiddies? Be careful where you Facetime.