Monday, February 23, 2015

Thirty-one

(I wrote this on February 10th, but waited to post it. It's an important lead up to how I'm feeling today.)


This is what thirty-one looks like. 

It's happy. It's incredibly grateful. It's being surrounded by family and friends that really, truly care about me. (And knowing when to say goodbye to the ones who don't.) It's having a best friend post VERY OLD pictures from college. And my little brother calling me on my way to work to wish me happy birthday. 

It's calm. And centered. And focused. It's knowing who I am, and who I want to be. Strong, brave, kind. Direct. Honest. Compassionate. Supportive. Protective. 

It's having the biggest smile on my face on my way to work this morning, and knowing it's not because there's a ring on my finger or a baby in my belly. (Though I'll be INCREDIBLY thankful when the time is right for both of these.) But this happiness is mine. I'm giving it to myself. 

I spent much of last year feeling down and trying to control things that are simply out of my hands. I became bitter, anxious, ungrateful. I wasn't able to be happy for my friends, and I wasn't able to appreciate what was in front of me. 

But thanks to the help of my boyfriend and my family, I pulled myself up. And decided that I was tired of waiting to be happy. 

Thirty-one feels like a new person. Like an enormous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm living in the moment, happy for whatever life brings me. And most importantly, I'm happy for my friends again. And supremely thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life. 

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