Thursday, September 20, 2012

Two roads diverged in a wood

I woke in the middle of the night in the freezing cold tent, K curled up in the warm blankets like a drunk burrito. My hand immediately went to my stomach as the pain seared through my gut.

Guess burgers from Walmart weren't the best idea.

My eyes opened wide as I realized the urgency of my situation.

Frantically, I grasped for my pajama pants and clumsily fumbled for the zipper on the door. There was no time to find my glasses, but I remembered my way to the bathroom. As I stumbled down the dirt road past dark and quiet tents, I weaved and bobbed my way down the road, guided only by moonlight.

I made it safely to my destination and back out into the road again, where I suddenly came to a dead stop. The trees were a dark blur, and I developed a sense of vertigo in no small part brought on by the 10 beers I had consumed by the fire earlier.

Which way was the tent?? I squinted frantically, searching the skyline as as panic set in. I should have taken the extra minute to find my damn glasses. Or grab my cell phone to call for help, although that wouldn't have even helped since we had no service.

I started walking in the direction I thought I remembered the tent being. After tripping on several tree trunks and almost falling on my ass, I made it back to the tent.

But I'll tell you two things ill never do when camping again: forget my glasses, or eat burgers from Walmart.


  1. holy crap!! glad you made it safely to and from the loo! Camping is so much more magical when you are a kid, it is a different story as an adult tho.

  2. Thanks, Poke!! I'm glad I made it too. And you're right. I'm too damn old to sleep on the ground these days!